


The Wax Imposter

by TheDisneyOutsider



Series: Iron Dad and His Spider-Son [9]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Based on a True Story, Ben Stiller - Freeform, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Jimmy Fallon - Freeform, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Rhodey - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, Taylor Swift - Freeform, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, buck barnes - Freeform, clint barton - Freeform, mentions of - Freeform, miley cyrus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDisneyOutsider/pseuds/TheDisneyOutsider
Summary: Tony and Peter visit a wax museum while on vacation and things get a little too personal
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Iron Dad and His Spider-Son [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796242
Comments: 15
Kudos: 137





	The Wax Imposter

**Author's Note:**

> Based heavily on my multiple visits to wax museums, because forcing these characters to live through my own experiences is kind of what I do 😂

“Oh Mr. Stark, can we go in here!?” Peter asked excitedly, pulling Tony to the side where the sign read ‘Movieland Wax Museum’. 

Tony looked at the building distastefully, noticing the first wax figure by the door.  _Taylor Swift_.  She was blonde, so they had that going for them, and yeah, maybe the eyes and nose were pretty close, but the mouth was another story, and if that was their feature piece, Tony wasn’t jumping with excitement to see who else they butchered. 

He looked down at the excited kid. He had planned this trip to Niagra Falls to cheer him up when he found out his aunt was going to be away for training for most of the summer. It was a good distraction and somewhere the kid had never been before. Tony had even helped him through the process of getting his very first passport because‘let’s face it kid, Canada has the better falls, we need to see it from their side.’ 

So here they were. After spending hours admiring the falls from the boat cruise and behind, Tony had allowed himself to be dragged to the strip. A road full of colourful fun houses, restaurants, and all the biggest tourist trap activities that had a kid like Peter wide-eyed and excited. 

“Pleeease Tony? We have to do it!”

Tony looked from Taylor Swift to his doe-eyed kid and rolled his eyes. It’s not like ten dollars would break his wallet anyway, he could buy the whole damn building if that’s what his kid wanted. 

He waved his hand, “Lead the way Spider-Kid,” and the wide grin that followed those words was all Tony needed.

He paid for the tickets, the lady at the ticket booth growing excited when she realized who he was and then giggled, “I hope it lives up to your standards.”

It was a weird comment, Tony would admit, but he shook it off. He’s heard weirder things in the presence of a star-struck fan. 

“This is awesome, Tony! We’re the only ones in here right now!” Peter dragged the man through the entrance and it was true. The place was dead at the moment and when they turned the corner into the first room, Tony wasn’t so sure that was a good thing. 

The place was creepy. The type of creepy that had you constantly looking over your shoulder because you felt like you were being watched. 

Tony glanced at the first figure he saw, Jimmy Fallon, sitting behind a desk designed to look like his studio set. 

“Oh you  _ gotta  _ take a picture of me Mr. Stark!” Peter bounced excitedly into the chair beside the wax figure and posed as if he was being interviewed. 

Tony rolled his eyes good naturally, but snapped the picture, “You’re a natural, kid. Maybe you could take my place on one of these things one day. Save me from answering the same ten questions over and over.”

Peter giggled in reply, “I think when they book  _ Tony Stark  _ on their show, they want  _ Tony Stark  _ to appear.”

Tony waved his hand, “We’ll get you all dressed up with some sunglasses, you could pull it off. I could FaceTime in on your phone!”

Peter giggled harder, “Or I could just crash one of your interviews! That would liven it up!” 

“Good idea Underoos! ‘Please direct all questions to my insanely smart intern, please’,”Tony grinned and Peter blushed. 

“Alright, let’s see who else they’ve botched,” he waved the kid along, “Jimmy’s looking a little dead inside.”

They turned into a brightly decorated room and Peter squealed, “Harry Potter! Oh my God this is so cool!”

“Kid, you’re aware you’ve met all the Avengers, right? Yet, you’re peeing your pants over a hunk of wax.”

“It’s  _ Harry Potter _ , Mr. Stark. He’s like my  _ childhood _ ,” Peter stared at the man as if that’s all the explanation he needed.

Tony raised his hands in surrender, “My mistake, guess it was another little boy wearing an Iron Man helmet and repulsers, it’s fine. Ok, kid, get up on the broom beside him, I’ll take your picture with your childhood  _ hero _ .”

Peter ignored his mentor’s remarks, smiling instead as he climbed up on the prop broom they had for people to use.

Tony snapped a quick picture of the quidditch showdown and Peter hopped off the broom, examining Tony’s phone to make sure it was perfect.

“Awesome! I bet Ned could edit out the background to make it look more real!”

“Harry doesn’t even have  _eyebrows_ ,  kid. I’m not sure that thing’s ever going to look real.”

Peter shrugged, “Ned’s pretty good at— No way!!!”

He turned to look at the next display that his kid had already noticed and upon seeing who was featured, Tony was sure the enthusiasm over Harry Potter was long gone.

“Darth Vader, Yoda, Jar Jar Binks!? This is amazing!!! Wait until Ned sees this!” 

“Again, I feel I must point out, real live Avengers, Kid!” Tony reiterated, all the while snapping pictures of his kid in various poses, “I’m pretty sure you’ve even watched these movies with them.”

Peter’s mouth fell open excitedly, “You’re right! I should send these pictures to Thor and Clint too!”

Tony shook his head, but grinned at his kid’s enthusiasm, “Just make sure you explain to Thor the concept of Wax museums.”

He allowed Peter to drool over his favourite characters for a long time, until the boy finally agreed reluctantly to leave the movie portion of the building and move on. 

“Hey Tony, what’s this?” Peter questioned, noticing a dark room off to the side between exhibits. 

Tony glanced in the door curiously, “Dunno kid, check it out.”

Peter eyed the dark hall, “You go first,” he pushed his mentor through. 

Tony took a tentative step forward and fake thunder sounded from the speakers, lightening illuminating a figure, Chuckie, on the wall right beside them.

“Ahh!” Peter screamed, clinging to Tony’s shirt. Tony chuckled, “Calm down, Spider-Man.”

Gunshots sounded from the darkness ahead of them, and they both saw a dark figure nearby, causing them to jump. 

“Umm maybe we skip this room?” Peter asked hesitantly. 

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, feeling his own heart rate jumping. They faced enough darkness on their own, they didn’t need to do it for fun. 

The thunder clapped again and the two turned quickly, exiting the hall a bit faster than either of them would ever admit. 

“Are we sure we didn’t just accidentally stumble onto one of the haunted houses next door?” Peter asked when they were safely entering the next room, full of musicians, that was much more cheerful. 

“I think they should probably at least have a warning about that room. Poor little kids would be traumatized,” he mumbled as he fixed his eyes on the next display and if Tony thought Taylor Swift was bad, he had not prepared himself for Miley Cyrus. 

“Oh my  _ God _ ,  _ that’s  _ Miley Cyrus!?”

Tony chuckled, because if the kid thought it was bad, then it was bad. 

“If that nameplate wasn’t there I would have guessed Bucky after being frozen for seventy years,” Tony contemplated as he examined the train wreck in front of them. 

“Mr.  _ Stark _ , that’s an insult to Bucky!” Peter laughed.

“If I was Miley I’d be suing this place, I’m serious,” Tony rambled leaving the room, “the fact that they feel they can take these high profile celebrities and make fools out of— WHAT IS THAT.”

Peter turned the corner as well and instantly broke into hysteria, “THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. Oh my GOD, Tony, did you know about this!?”

Peter ran up to the display to get a better look.

Tony stood fuming at the door for another few moments before marching over to the figure that was supposed to be him, surrounded by his workshop and suits, “No I did NOT know about this, how dare— I did NOT give my permission for this.” 

Peter was laughing so hard he was having trouble breathing, “But this is so cool! Look Tony, it’s Mark 42! And they even have the Iron Patriot! I’ve got to send a picture of this to Rhodey!” He rambled, snapping a selfie with the suit and sending it to his pseudo uncle. 

“They’ve got me all wrong,” Tony ignored the boy’s excitement, still focused on the figure in the middle, himself, standing tall with his arc reactor and holographic glasses. 

“Honestly, I think this one’s the best one in here, it  _ actually  _ looks like you!” Peter said seriously once he’d calmed down. 

Tony stared at the boy in disbelief for a moment, then attempted a cleansing breath, “You take that back right now or you’re grounded, and we’re going home!” 

“Come ON Tony!” Peter tried again, “Look they’ve got your goatee just right! And—“

“My nose is NOT that big! And why are my ears that round?” Tony dissected the statue with disgust, “That’s it, I’m suing!” 

“Tooony, you can’t, it’s a just for fun!”

“I’m not having any fun,” the man crossed his arms over his chest.

Peter grinned, “You are and you know it! Now hurry up and take a picture of me beside you!”

“You can do that right now with the real thing!”

Peter rolled his eyes, “Just do it!” 

Tony huffed, snapping the picture with annoyance.

“Okay! Now we need a selfie, all three of us!” Peter directed. 

“Absolutely not! No way in hell, nuh uh, I’m putting my foot down!”

Peter paid him no attention, instead he dragged his mentor over and held his phone out in front, “Smile!” 

Soon that picture, with Peter’s bright smile, Tony’s hard glare and wax Tony’s beady little eyes, would end up being Peter’s lock screen picture and Tony would huff in annoyance every time he happened to glance at the kid’s screen.

“Alright, you got your laughs, let’s go,” Tony grumbled, refusing to look at himself any longer. 

This time, Peter allowed himself to be dragged away, but not before stating his opinion once more, “I don’t know why you’re so upset, you should be flattered! I wish they’d make Spider-Man into a wax figure.” 

“You just wait until they do, Kid, then you’ll be whining about how they used the wrong shade of  _red_. ” 

The boy shook his head in amusement at his mentor, but nonetheless dropped the subject and focused on the Ben Stiller figure just up ahead. 

It only took about twenty more minutes for the two to eventually come to the exit, and when they did the man was still grumbling, “I want my ten dollars back.”

“Mr. Stark, you don’t need ten dollars,” Peter pointed out. 

“It’s the  _ principle  _ of the matter, Pete,” Tony wagged his finger. 

Peter grinned, patting the man’s back gently, “Come on, Tony, I’ll buy you an ice cream cone.” 

“I don’t—“ he started, then sighed, “Fine, but I’m calling Miley Cyrus when we get home. I think she needs to know about this.”

“Cool! Do you think I could meet her?” 

“I’ll show you the real deal, Spider-Kid,” Tony slung an arm over his kid’s shoulder, and they exited the building, a golden sunset setting over them, the beauty almost prompting Tony to forget about the injustice he had just faced back in the building.  _ Almost _ . 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the nonsense! Also threw in a little Tom and RDJ Easter egg, did you find it!? 😜
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you have the time!


End file.
